After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
