In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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