i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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