Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
