all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Is her dick bigger than yours?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
