just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
