I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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