I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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