they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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