R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
