so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
