he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
