That's intense
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
