we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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