is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
