Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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