We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
