That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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