I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
