Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
