Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
