I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
