It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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