Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
