I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
