Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
