We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
