Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
