Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry fromthebottomyo hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(503): View more from Oregon

do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?

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(360): View more from Washington

not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.

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(240): View more from Maryland

last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours

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(214): View more from Texas

That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

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(913): View more from Kansas

you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.

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(727): View more from Florida

Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew

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(417): View more from Missouri

I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.

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(727): View more from Florida

You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just trying to show you I care.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.

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