I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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