so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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