I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
