So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
