turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
