just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
