I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize