Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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