U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
if only i could text you this smell
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
