HIV tests are more positive than that guy
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
