i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
