Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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