Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
