Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she told me i tasted like america
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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