Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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