Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
