is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
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