Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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