My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I will be naked everywhere
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
