yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Randomize
