I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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