It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
