yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
