I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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